The Bloopers vs The Highlight reel 🤪🤪

I had a shit day today - well, not the whole day. Life from about 4am until about 7am was pretty good lol.

Most days when the alarm goes off at 350am, I don't LOVE it lol but I’m excited to get the day started. Today mmmm not so much.

I was tired and a little whiny (you know the messy head 4 yr old who cries and whimpers when You wake her up?) Yep~ all me this morning; coupled with some sore legs and a tight back.

The sleep deprivation might have been attributed to the fact I honestly thought Hersh had stopped breathing at about 220am, so I played a game to make sure he wasn’t dead.

I know, I know… most of you would have shook your dear husbands awake and not that I wouldn't have; but my ADHD overtired brain thought it would be more fun to play

“1 Missississippi, 2 Missississippi“ until he started breathing again. 🤷🏻‍♀️😴😴😴

He didn’t actually NOT breathe and it all turned out ok… (I know this because he is still very much alive and just brought me some homemade ice cream cake so I could end today’s shitty day on a sugar high with a lactose stomachache!)

Anyway - back to the breathing game - anyone in a relationship knows sleeping with your significant other never looks like a scene from the movies. No one wakes up pretty; everyone snores and most likely at some point in the night, you get pissed because they are snoring or too close to you or stealing covers or you are mad at them for what they did in that dream. ORRRR they are mad at YOU because you have allowed not one, but both dogs to sleep next to you and snuggle and one dog may have nipped at your partner… (sorry bout that one Hersh). 🤭🤭

So, he was asleep on his back and he’d take a big breath in, but no breath would come out. Nothing. Not a puff. Or a sigh or even a smidge of breath. About 8 Missississippis in, he‘d gasp…loudly. VERY LOUDLY. 😵😵😵

See? Not dead. So I‘d wait and play again. Sniff, sniff, BREATH - count my Missisisippis and GASPPPP. Finally after about 14 rounds of this game, I elbowed him and said “YOU ARENT BREATHING IN. ROLL OVER.”

Pretty sure I’m not up for Wife Of the Year award🏆 for that one but it’s ok. He’s alive.

And I’m crabby. Lol.

Fast forward my morning to the broken Ortho wire and broken bracket and the drive to the Ortho when all I really wanted to do was lay down in my bed after working from 430-739a and then accomplishing the speediest grocery trip ever that somehow still managed to cost me $200. I wasn’t even IN Wegmans long enough to THINK about how to spend $200. This apparently is another game I’m good at.

The crabby teen boy with the 7th broken bracket however, COULD have won an Oscar today for his overdramatic thump and cry as I demanded he get up because we had 16 minutes to get to the Ortho that was 20 minutes away. Rush Rush Wait.


If you saw the fitness mobile speeding on Southwestern/Transit today, do not judge me for my speed or the finger I may have waved at you. I had to rush home to pack up the dog for the vet visit to discover a doggie double ear infection, a skittish dog and a dog owner covered in dog hair and gym sweat and pay another $313 vet bill.🤦🏽‍♀️. and it’s only 1030am.

I promised the teens a trip to the fair today (which you know means the mom ATM isnt even done yet) so that was next on the agenda in the few hours I had free before I headed back to the gym for round 2. If only life was that easy. The attempt to get the teens to the fair was met with a ridiculous amount of teen girl drama that somehow I did not cause, I did not start, did not WANT but somehow was right in the middle of. “Yes she can go. No she can’t. Her mom is mad. Are you mad? Is she mad? She said I said He said she was mad and are you crying and can you stay and did she text you and omg you are going to lose your phone:..” kind of drama.

It turned out to be three trips back and forth from Lancaster to Hamburg; a spilled Tim Hortons coffee on my now dry, yet smelly, dog hair covered gym clothes from round one; a whole tank of gas and 14 frazzled phone calls from teen girls coupled with tears, pissy attitudes and a “I’m going to stay but can you transfer some money into my account?“ phone call.

At this point, I pull the car over smash the wheel one or ten times and contemplate sleeping in my car and turning off my phone. I’m sure this has never happened to you.🤪😭😂

I finally make it back home…canceling clients on the way because by now, I will be late… my schedule is Off and I don’t have one burpee or bicep curl in me and I’m certain the motivation my clients need doesn‘t resemble me lying in a fetal position on the turf, praying to the Higher powers that be, for a miracle in the form of a sleep Mattress #22, a power nap and hot coffee.

I’m thankful Siri can decode my talk to text messages in between my Equinox reading multiple teen girl text messages while I wait In the Tims line for coffee number 2 .

The medium coffee one cream actually turns out to be a triple triple shot of vanilla. 🤢🤮 Thank goodness I love the Earth or the Rav 4 tailgating me would have worn it on his windshield.

My point today??? More often than not, these days are the days no one talks about and no one posts about. This shit is NOT the highlight reel. LOL. These aren’t the pretty pictures with my hair done and my date night clothes. I smell. I’m covered in dog hair and I am grunting at my family. 🤣

These days are like the outtakes and the bloopers you see at the end of a movie ~ nothing catastrophic but at the end of the day you feel Iike you got run over by a Mack truck, you have an lactose stomachache and you pray your dear husband breathes silently tonight or tonight’s game of “1 Mississippi“ might not end so well for him.

Let’s hear it for the bloopers.

Hoping for some peaceful sleep and a working Keurig tomorrow morning. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼